racing puns reddit

23. 12. I asked my redneck uncle if he thought all races were equal. It led Carlton Kirby to comment. My grandpa sent me this email. 18. 29.

Did you hear about the Racer who lost $50 on a baseball game? Best Horse Puns and Horse Jokes. They wrote back saying they weren’t that lonely. 1. What do you call a fake noodle? How do you make a million dollars dirt racing? 3.

Did you know that a horse loves to eat Apple computers. •. The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

The horse was not popular with her friends anymore because she mustang with the wrong crowd.

The Racer replied: “Better make it four, I’m not very hungry.”. Well you have come to the right place.

46. I thought I'd try my hand at snail racing. One day the farmer noticed the two racing each other around the pasture and thought to himself, "Wow! Joke from Ford Muscle Forums . Without missing a beat I popped off with: I've never understood the appeal of watching grown men in high heels running down the street. 11. 18. Horses make great pets for kids because they are very stable animals.

After three days they arrived at their destination and turned around and went home after they saw the sign saying: “Disneyland left.”. This collection of racing jokes will give you a chuckle or two with how strange they are, and their funny and entertaining tones. Want to hear a joke about paper? That being said, horse puns can leave you a little hoarse after laughing so hard, so try to take these puns one at a time so you get to enjoy them for what they are. At the end of an ordinary mass, in early spring, on a chilly Sunday morning he was just guiding the people out of the church, was about to close the gates when an unknown man stepped into the churchyard. In order to determine what animals the kids liked at the farm, they had to take a gallop poll. It must be the same for poles. The bronco was asked to leave the bar because he only had one buck. The label said wash and wear. After many years of wandering, he finally arrived in a small village in the middle of nowhere. There’s Wite-out on the screen.

This is a long shot, but will you marry me?'

So he could write shorthand. The Racer: “I’ve got one ear.”. 38. 4. A Racer was asked to be the Groomsman at a friend’s wedding, but had to refuse because he didn’t know anything about horses. This bumper sticker is brought to your by all those who hate tailgaters. The people there believed in the same religion as he did, but they had no church; they had to go to the nearest one which was in a small town 25 km's from there. Racing thoughts Puns.

It was the best part of my day to watch everyone in the room pause, turn slowly toward me and groan loudly.

How can you confuse a Racer? It sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. In the cemetery. As soon as the horse ate the entire room of hay he had a real baleful look about him.

correct. The police are

None, they’re all facts. One hat said The only way that you can calm down impatient jockeys is to tell them to hold their horses. 8.

Vampires like to go to the horse races and see the finish when it is neck and neck.

They ended up in a tie.


The horse was kicked off he basketball team because he would foal too much. They can’t get their head in the jar.

As soon as the gates swung open, both horses immediately bolted to the front of the race as the announcer was going wild, "It's Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, Noggin-Hobbin, Hobbin-Noggin, and Hobbin wins by a nose!" How do you organize an outer space party? To see a floor show. Don’t be so shy – share it with us! What do you call a Racer who practices birth control?

One was named Hobbin, and the other Noggin. He lost another $50 on the replay. 51. 44. 63. 1. I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

I took up a new hobby: snail racing. 50. 48.

52. Puns of Varying Quality on the Subject of Linguistics (created in a fit of procrastinative inspiration) some of which I thought someone, someday might appreciate. Everyone loves the horses of the farm because of their incredible horsepitality. The younger horses must have a stable environment in order for them to grow big and strong.

In a blog post, it doesn’t seem so wild as it did at the time. 33.

Most horses will only eat their sandwiches on thorough-bread. A cheetah and a lion are racing in Africa After the cheetah easily wins, the lion complains: “Man, you’re a cheetah” and the cheetah says: “Naw man you’re a lion”. The little boy stood behind the horse because he thought he might get a kick out of it. So I apologise in advance. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. 33. Once when it is told, once when it is explained to them, and once when they understand it.

40. 6. Do you have a sore throat because you sound a little bit hoarse today? A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. It’s a little fishy. The Racer said: “I wish you would make up your mind.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

Tell her a joke on Friday night. If you want to buy a thoroughbred horse, you are going to have to pony up a lot of money.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems. I'm so proud of her! The reason that Teddy Roosevelt was mean to horses was because he was considered a rough rider. An egg and a young horse have one thing in common, they can’t be used until they are broken. Did you hear about the Racer who turned up at a friend’s house in a wet shirt? 22. is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Do you want more?

43. 59.

The horse that has seen the world is considered to be a real globe-trotter. Fruit flies like a banana.

Why won’t a shark attack a Racer swimming in the ocean? Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. At the horse reunion, one horse was heard saying that he remembered everyone’s pace but not their manes. A Racer ordered a pizza.

By January Nelson Updated October 1, 2018. We love writing puns because they catch you off guard and give us the chance to switch up meanings in a fun way. The little pony was removed from the class because he was always horsing around.

23. This continues in every race until Hobbin has won the Triple Crown. 2.

Wish you could brighten your mood? 41. 15. How do you make a Racer laugh on Monday morning? My tactic was if I take the shells off, they’ll be lighter and quicker. He acquired his size from too much pi. 5.

Fabio Aru went on the attack and took a large gap out of his main rivals. He said nah Daytona is 500 laps and Brickyard is only 400. 35. Did you hear about the Buddhist Racer who refused Novocaine during a root canal? 14. She smiled and her otherwise golden brown face grew red. 26. 49. 32. mind raced with punchlines of the “about this far” variety. 47.

53. 34. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. Did you hear about the Racer who wore a glove on one hand? The only type of food that race horses will eat is fast food.

27. Why don’t Racers eat pickles? The most famous horse thieves of all time are Bonnie and Clydesdale. List Of Best Racing Jokes. There was a Racer who was late for work during the power failure because he got stuck on the escalator. The doctor said: “Run five miles a day.” A week later the doctor called and said: “How is your sex life?” The Racer said: “I don’t know, I’m 35 miles from home.”. These horses are quick!" Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned


With his dirty and torn clothes, he stood before the priest and said: Sitting in the living room talking about the appeal of nascar with the family when my step mother said she liked the drag races more. Why did the Racer die while drinking milk?

To remind him that Toes Go In First.

The stock market. I watched a documentary about car racing, but I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. What a roller coaster of dad emotions. So I had to transition into google searching images of wall framing and what studs are. It’s been fantastic! It was sole destroying.

My horse will only watch one movie with me, Fiddler on the Hoof. So these 63 horse puns should stirrup some fun between friends, enjoy them next time you are horsing around.

A Racer went to a baseball game with a friend, but got stuck in traffic and arrived after the fifth inning. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community!

58. One soggy morning in Seattle, a plain cheerio awoke in his single room apartment.

Did you hear about the Racer who went to a mind reader?

I might have done better if I had a horse. If you want more, check this post with the most hilarious puns we could find on internet. Title, basically - I need a character name for dnd, dm has required all character names be a pun, and he misinterpreted my initial request to play as a lobster race as a request to stage some sort of actual lobster race. His Racer died trying to dig the grave •, 24.

"Excuse me ma'am," his voice quivered, "I - I think you might be the most beautiful cheerio I have ever seen." However, they are adult enough that you do not have to share your guilty pleasure with children, giving you something all to yourself.

Aladdin Banned from Flying Carpet Racing, 6. > No pun in ten did. Did you know that if you find a horseshoe it really means some poor pony is walking around in his socks. As the race was about to start, the horses were rearing and snorting to get let out of the gate. The police are looking into it. 51. A dope ring. Then don’t forget to check some of our best cat puns. Then you are in luck! They raced through the morning mist of the city, and arriv, One day a farmer's mare birthed two foals.

You planet.


A Racer went to the doctor and asked how to have a better sex life. I know A LOT of people that are into riding horses and things like that. looking into it. When you hear some gossip from a horse you are basically listening to a neigh-sayer. She fell out the window. He might be riding your bicycle. A horse stopped right in the middle of the highway because someone yelled “Hay”!

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